


Beautiful Nightmare

by KissTheAshes



Category: Jrock, MEJIBRAY
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blood, Dreams, Forbidden Love, M/M, Non-Graphic S&M, Non-Graphic Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-06 13:32:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4223562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissTheAshes/pseuds/KissTheAshes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those few sentences changed Tsuzuku’s entire thought process, and he wasn’t sure why. This strange student, dripping with horror. A mind so twisted and full of deformity. Those sentences brought back the intrigue Tsuzuku had, and made him want -need- to know more. “What happens after you cut me?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Fantasies Aren't to Tell

Something had been bothering this strange student, he knew. His grade had been dropping and he hadn’t been paying attention in class. And Japanese wasn’t a class you could fail. At the end of the period everybody rushed out of the classroom - everybody except him. He seemed to be in a different universe, and hadn’t moved. The teacher approached him and put a hand on the student’s shoulder. Once the student was touched, he jolted and flinched away.

“Tsuzuku-sensei,” he whispered.

“You’ll be late for your next class, Meto-kun.” Tsuzuku’s voice wasn’t much above a whisper either. The blond student’s eyes widened and he started putting his things away. When he started running out the door, Tsuzuku stopped him. “I want to see you in my office after school. I need to tak to you about your grade.”

Meto nodded and walked out the door, seemingly hesitant. What the teacher didn’t see was how Meto fingered the butterfly knife tucked away in his coat pocket.

**********

After school Tsuzuku was almost pleased to hear a hesitant knock on his door. Ever since that first day in class. the student had intrigued him. Meto was quiet, often not speaking a word during class. The student was intelligent, yet incredibly odd. Tsuzuku was drawn to that oddness, wanted to know more about this elusive student.

A few seconds passed and the door opened slowly, a blond head peaking through. “Come in, Meto-kun.” Meto closed the door behind him and sat in the chair in front of the desk, knees pulled up to his chin.

The pose made him look even smaller than he already was, and defenseless. “You’re a good student, Meto. But lately your grade has been dropping. Has something been bothering you?” Tsuzuku leaned forward in his chair.

The student tightened his grip on his legs and looked away. “I can’t trust anybody with my secrets, he said quietly.

“You can trust me, Meto-kun. I’m your teacher, and I want to help you.” Meto merely shook his head and refused to say more. Tsuzuku got up and sat on the front of his desk. “you can tell me. Its okay.”

He shook his head. “You’ll be scared.”

Gingerly, Tsuzuku reached out and caressed Meto’s cheek. “nothing you can say will scare me. I promise you that. What do you think about?”

“My fantasies aren’t to tell,” Meto whispered.

His fantasies? “What are they about?”

Meto was quiet, and still refused to look at his teacher. “...You,” he spoke, barely audible.

The teacher frowned. “What am I doing?”

His breathing became a little more heavy, and when Meto spoke, it was as if he had to force the words out. “Bleeding.”

“Why am I bleeding?” The confession shocked Tsuzuku more than he let on. He was a little apprehensive, hoping his student didn’t mean that he wanted to kill his teacher.

Meto said nothing for a while, as if building up to the next part of his confession. “I cu you,” he breathed. “Everywhere. Your arms, chest, back, legs...you’re bleeding everywhere. And I’m the one that did it.”

“Why did you do it?” it was only then that the teacher realized he was still caressing Meto’s cheek. He tried to pull away, but Meto’s hand was on his, urging Tsuzuku to continue. So he did, albeit a little uncomfortable.

“I thought you would look beautiful.” The student continued unexpectedly. “I thought you’d look so beautiful dyed red.”

Mixed emotions rose in Tsuzuku. He wasn’t sure whether this was a confession of want to murder or a twisted flattery. He wasn’t sure which one made him more uncomfortable. “Do I die?”

Meto looked up suddenly, eyes wide with horror. “No! I’d never...not you. I’d never want you to die.”

Those few sentences changed Tsuzuku’s entire thought process, and he wasn’t sure why. This strange student, dripping with horror. A mind so twisted and full of deformity. Those sentences brought back the intrigue Tsuzuku had, and made him want - _need_ \- to know more. “What happens after you cut me?” Maybe it should’ve been strange how clearly the teacher could see this fantasy.

Meto shook his head and looked away again. Fear of consequence made him silent, wondering if he already gone too far, telling this teacher what he wanted.

Tsuzuku pulled his hand away, only to place it on Meto’s own. “You can tell me anything, Meto-kun. You haven’t scared me away yet. And I promise I won’t tell anybody.”

Meto took a few deep breaths. “I kiss you,” he breathed. “You look so beautiful- cut up like that. I can’t help it. So while you’re lying on the ground, bleeding everywhere, I kiss you because of your beauty.”

A kiss? I sounded so innocent, and even platonic. It seemed like the kiss wasn’t there because of love or desire, but rather something else that couldn’t be named. “What happens next?”

“I clean and bandage your wounds. After you’re healed, I do it again.” His teacher’s constant touch relaxed him, and he leaned toward Tsuzuku.

Tsuzuku’s other hand stroked through blond hair, deep in thought. It seemed like Meto was done talking, but the teacher didn’t want to end this just as the student was relaxing. And he craved to learn more about this student wrapped in horror. “Why did these fantasies start?”

“You cut yourself on a pair of scissors during class. I saw you bleed, and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Nobody has ever looked so beautiful while bleeding before. I-” His quiet voice died out, and he dug into his coat pocket. He took out a butterfly knife and balanced it on his propped knee. “I bring it every day. Its what I use in my dreams.”

It was against school rules to bring knives to school. He knew this, and was sure that Meto knew it too. Tsuzuku could get Meto in trouble for it, but he didn’t want to. In fact, it intrigued the teacher even more. “Why do you bring it?” His hand left Meto’s when he picked up the knife, opening it.

“I don’t know.” His eyes left Tsuzuku’s face to follow the knife. “Whenever I dream I touch it and that makes it more real.”

The teacher tested the sharpness of the knife. Meto kept it sharp- extremely sharp. “Would you ever live out your fantasy?”

Confusion clouded those large doe eyes. The blond student didn’t say anything, even minutes after the question was asked. It became quite clear that Tsuzuku wouldn’t get a response. “We should talk more later. We need to discuss how to improve your grade. Would you like to talk here, or somewhere else?”

Meto pursed his lips. “There’s a little café that I really like. I love it’s sweets.”

Tsuzuku smiled. If it made Meto more comfortable to go to a café rather than a teacher’s office, Tsuzuku would oblige. “Is it okay if we meet there tomorrow? I know it’ll be a Saturday, but I want to get this resolved.”

The student nodded. “I need my knife back.” his quiet voice had dropped to barely a whisper. Tsuzuku closed it and on impulse kissed the metal sheath.

Meto froze for a few seconds. He took his knife back after he reanimated and gave his teacher the details on when they could meet. He gathered his things then left without a goodbye.

Tsuzuku stared at the far wall, deep in thought. It was strange, how it felt a single conversation had flipped his life upside down in the quietest of ways. Something had shifted in his life and it couldn’t be put back. His heart constricted in craving. He almost needed to have his student's presence around him- needed to know more about that twisted mind. He had a taste, and he needed to know _more_. Meto was almost like a drug.

Wait. Tsuzuku needed to be careful about things like that. Meto was only in his second year of high school. If Tsuzuku was caught saying or thinking things about the student that were suspiciously intimate, it could get them both in trouble. He couldn’t tell anybody what he felt, even though there was no desire or love involved. There was a line, and he’d crossed it, he was sure. They both had.

**********

Meto laid on his bed, thumbing over the place his teacher had kissed the knife. Why would he do that? And why would he ask such a strange question? Would Meto ever act on such a fantasy?

If he could, he would. But he’d get in so much trouble...and why would he even ask? Would his teacher consent to such a thing? It was hard to tell.

It was strange how Tsuzuku had reacted to everything. Meto had driven friends away when he talked about such horrifying things. He’d expected his teacher to yell, scream at him to get out,be disgusted and afraid. But he’d... _accepted_ it. He’d wanted to know more. Why? Meto wanted to know why this singular person wasn’t scared of him.

**********

When they met at the café, Meto arrived first. When Tsuzuku sat down, and after he ordered, the blond spoke. “Why aren’t you scared of me?”

Tsuzuku was taken aback. “What?”

“Why aren’t you scared of me? Why are you still here after I told you my fantasy?”

His student looked like he was about to cry out of frustration. Clearly this was something that bothered him quite a bit. “I don’t know. Should I be scared? All I feel is curiosity.”

“But why? I don’t understand.”

Even when he was demanding answers Meto’s voice was quiet, so Tsuzuku didn’t raise his voice either. “Is everybody else scared?”

Meto took a deep breath. “Whenever I tell people about thoughts like this I drive them away. I’ve lost a lot of friends that way. My relationship with my parents is strained at best. They keep talking about sending me to a psychiatrist. I don’t wanna go. What’s worse is that they’ve told the rest of my family what I think about. So now all my cousins I used to play with won’t talk to me anymore.”

Tsuzuku stroked his student’s hair, and Meto leaned into the touch. “Do you have anybody left?”

“One. His name is Mia. We’re best friends- but that’s not saying much since he’s all I have. And he’s in love with me, but...”

“You don’t love him.”

Meto shook his head. “It’s more than that. He doesn’t know all the terrible things I think about. He wants to love me but he doesn’t even know me.”

To not have anybody you can count on is a terrible thing. Tsuzuku had been there. It was a loney, lonely place. He urged Meto to look at him. “I’m not scared, okay? I will never be scared of you. You can talk to me. If you need to tell somebody a fantasy like that, you can tell me. It doesn’t matter what it is, or who it’s about. You can trust me. I won’t run away. I promise.”

Meto looked up at him, big doe eyes wide. “You promise?”

The teacher combed through that blond hair again. “I won’t leave. I promise.”

Meto closed his eyes, tears about to fall. “That’s the first time in a long time I’ve believed someone when they’ve said that.”

His heart broke for the kid. To be so alone so early in life wasn’t right. “Tell me your dreams. Tell me all of your dreams.”

They spent hours at that little café, Meto talking with wide eyes and a quiet voice, dreamy voice. Between sentences or thoughts he’d take a bite of his bright pink cake or sip his coffee. It was endearing to see him so happy.

Tsuzuku found out that Meto’s thoughts didn’t consist only of people. He talked about plants a lot too. About how beautiful dead plants were: rotting away, browning or wilting. He talked about how some people would look beautiful as corpses. Not because the person was rude or annoying or anything; simply because they would look prettier dead.

“Would I look prettier dead?” Tsuzuku asked.

Meto’s mouth dropped. “What? No. I’d never want to see you dead. I want to see you dyed red. That’s what I want.”

“Would you ever really do it?”

That same question from yesterday. Such a strange question. “I won’t do it without your consent. And you’d never-”

“What if I did? What if I said I’d do it?” He hadn’t even realized he’d been gripping Meto’s hand.

The student’s eyes widened. “But the pain...and the kiss...Why? Why would you?”

“I don’t know. You intrigue me. I want to know you. I don’t care what anybody else says. Your mind is gorgeous. I don’t want you to go to a psychiatrist. I want you to stay the way you are.”

“Why do you say such things?”

Tsuzuku saw how confused he was, and it hurt to know nobody had ever told Meto such things. “Sometimes I think about death too.” Meto’s eyes widened impossibly more. “Things die all the time. And sometimes it beautiful. I get it, Meto. I understand your dreams. And they’re beautiful.”

Meto let out a shaky breath. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Tears slid down the blond’s face, and Tsuzuku wiped them away. He didn’t want to see this beautiful boy cry. “I wont leave,” he whispered.

The teacher gave Meto his personal phone number, telling Meto he could call or text whenever he wanted. Meto hugged him, his small body feeling almost childish against Tsuzuku’s harder, taller frame. Tsuzuku hated to leave this odd presence with his beautiful mind, but he had to.

Suddenly he longed to be cut by this blond nightmare.

**********

It became routine for Meto to enter Tsuzuku’s office after sschool and talk about his dreams. He’d also text or call- frequently in the dead of night. Tsuzuku was often woken up to listen to Meto talk about some new revelation he’d had about death, or some dream he’d had that had woke him up.

And his collegues were starting to notice.

There were four of them in the staff room during break. Besides Tsuzuku, there was his best friend Ryoga, the chemistry teacher; Ruki, the drama teacher; and Koichi, the English teacher.

“You’re spending quite a lot of time with that blond student of yours, Tsu,” Ryoga commented.

“Mmmm...” Ruki started. “If I didn’t know you better I’d say you’re dating~”

“We’re not dating.” Tsuzuku glared at Ruki. “He just needed somebody to talk to. He doesn’t really hve anybody.”

“So what?” Koichi said in English. After the glares sent his way he switched back to Japanese. “Is he orphaned or something?”

“No. He just doesn’t have anybody to depend on.” Ruki opened his mouth to speak, but Tsuzuku cut him off. “Don’t ask me anything else. I promised him I wouldn’t tell anybody.”

He moved to leave, but Ryoga stood in front of him. “Don’t get too attached, Tsu.” He said, quiet enough so nobody else would hear. “You’re walking a very fine line.” Tsuzuku stepped around him and left without another word.

**********

It had been weeks since their first encounter, and Meto had become so comfortable with his teacher. Tsuzku had walked into his office after school, worrying about what his colleagues had said earlier that day, but not quite sure what he was worrying about. They weren’t doing anything wrong. It was simply a teacher helping a student.

And when he saw Meto curled up in the chair like their first meeting, he knew Meto needed help.

Meto spoke before Tsuzuku could. “I lost him today.” MiA. The only other person Meto had. Tsuzuku sat and listened. “He asked me out at lunch, and I said no. He said that we could start dating, and then maybe I’d start to feel something. When I still refused he told me he could give me anything I wanted. I told him that wasn’t the problem. I told him what I think about. My thoughts about _him_.” Meto’s thoughts about MiA ranged from him being suffocated, beaten, dead, or having a slit throat, blood pouring everywhere.

“He said I’m a freak.” Meto started crying. “he told me that I’m a monster. That I’m psychotic and everybody should stay away from me. He was so scared. He thouht I’d actually kill him. I just - sometimes I thought he’d look prettier dead.”

Tsuzuku stood and pulled Meto into his arms. The boy was sobbing by the end of his explanation. The teacher hated hearing Meto cry, and his heart clenched. When the sobs stopped, Tsuzuku whispered, “Do you have any new dreams?”

And their routine started again.

**********

The next day for school Tsuzuku showed up in a blood-red button down. He’d bought it that last weekend- specifically for Meto. He’d worn it as a symbol to tell Meto that he wanted to be cut. He _craved_ to be cut by this peculiar student.

When he entered the classroom he saw Meto’s eyes widen in surprise. Tsuzuku looked at him and smiled,trying to indicate without words what he wanted. It seemed like Meto understood, since he nodded a little dumbly.

After school he sat in his office calmly while Meto burst through the door. “You’d really do it? You’d let me cut you?”

That was the first time Tsuzuku had ever heard Meto raise his voice. And even then it was only at a normal speaking level rather than his usual soft, quiet voice. “Can you do it today?” Tsuzuku asked, acting casual. “I know you still carry the knife.”

Meto sunk into the chair, shocked. “My parents won’t be home until after midnight. They’re closing up the shop they own then going on a date.” His eyes met Tsuzuku’s. “If someone found out...”

“They won’t,” the teacher interrupted. “I’ll lie and say I met with someone for an adventurous one night stand. My friends know I’m into that kind of stuff. We’ll be fine. I promise.”

Meto nodded and let out a shaky breath. “When can we go?”

“Soon. In about an hour. I have papers to grade and you have homework to do.” Meto whined but took out his homework anyways, sitting on the couch so he’d be more comfortable.

About a half hour went by when Tsuzuku sighed and dropped his grading pen. “I can’t concentrate.” He smiled a little. “I guess you can say I’m a bit excited. How about we leave early?”

Meto nodded eagerly and put his stuff away. They took a bus to Meto’s apartment (on Meto’s insistence that they go there instead of Tsuzuku’s). The building was small and humble, but in a good neighborhood and not run-down. They took an elevator up to the fourth floor and stopped at apartment 410. Meto ushered his teacher inside, buzzing with nerves, anxiety, and excitement.

Once they were in the student’s room, Meto stripped his bed of all fabric. Tsuzuku was left alone for a few minutes after that, and he studied the room. Horror movie posters, skulls, dolls, and even a collection of knives. You could see the spot the butterfly knife was supposed to be in in the case. On the bookshelf there was a balance between manga and novels - most of them part of the horror genre. Tsuzuku found it odd that most others were romances.

Meto came back, carrying piles of black. Tsuzuku found out that it was four black sheets. “Nobody uses these,” Meto whispered. “Plus if I can’t get the stains out, nobody will notice. Trust me, I’ve tried it.” He laid the sheets out on the bed, coating it with black. “I...” Meto bit his lip. “I need you to take off your clothes.”

“Everything?” Maybe it should’ve been scary how much trust he had in this beautiful nightmare.

“Not your underwear. I-I’ll be right back.” And his student left again.

Tsuzuku had never seen Meto embarrassed before. He started unbuttoning his shirt, pondering the situation.

Meto was going to cut him, make him bleed. And he’d never wanted something so much. Maybe it was crazy. Maybe thinking this way was crazy. But he wanted to know all of Meto- including what this would feel like.

The teacher slid out of his pants and laid on the bed, waiting for Meto to return. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this. Meto was his student. If anybody found out, there would be serious consequences.

Yet it felt so natural to put his life in the hands of this student wrapped in horror. Such beautiful horror. Such a beautiful mind. And doing this would open up a beautiful, nightmarish soul.

Meto came back, carrying a rather large first aid kit and dressed in all white. He looked like an angel. A beautiful, blond angel with a soul from the pits of Hell.

Lightly, Meto traced his teacher’s tattoos. First he traced the demonic imagery, then the skeleton hand holding a revolver. “Are these your dreams of death?” His voice held an awed, reverent tone.

“Only a few.” He took the student’s hand in his. “But we can talk about my dreams later. Right now, I want you to live out your dream. Cut me with that butterfly knife. Dye me red.”

Meto nodded and took the knife out of his pocket. He slipped it open and took a shaky breath. He lowered the sparkling knife to that painted skin and cut.

Blood seeped from the wound slowly, the nearby skin being dyed red. It was almost difficult for Meto to keep going- entranced by the beauty as he was. Already so much more beautiful with a single cut.

The first cut burned, but one look at Meto’s face made him forget about the pain. That look of reverent awe filled a void in Tsuzuku’s heart that he hadn’t even known was empty.

Cut after cut was made- slowly, like it was an art form. This wasn’t about love, desire, sex, or the blood. This was about beauty. A nightmarish beauty only they could understand.

This blond horror did just as he dreamed. He cut Tsuzuku’s arms and torso; his legs and back. Every cut was careful and sacred and painful and lovely and absolutely gorgeous. After he was done, Meto slipped the knife closed and put it on his nightstand as if the object was sacred. And to them, it was. That knife had just taken part in the most beautiful nightmare.

Reverently, Meto touched that red-dyed skin. “So beautiful,” he whispered. “You’re even more beautiful than in my dreams.” He climbed onto the bed and straddled his teacher. Blood seeped into his white jeans, staining the knees red. Their eyes locked, and Meto leaned over more, his white shirt dipping into bloodied skin. Tsuzuku’s lips parted slightly, expectant of what was to come. He cupped Meto’s jaw and his student mimicked the action, his grip soft and gentle.

When their lips touched, it was soft. Innocent. Lovely, but not full of love. Long seconds passed, and they parted. A breath passed, and they kissed again. Unhurried, sacred, soft. Kisses between an artist and his creation. Another parting, another breath, and another sacred kiss. In these moments, the world was theirs. Reality was far away, and they were locked in their own world. A dark, hellish place full of light and beauty.

And nothing would be the same.


	2. Innocent, Sweet Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Tsuzuku closed the door to the bedroom he found his arms full of Meto. Their lips met automatically, desperate and fervent after being so deined. It was the first time they’d kissed so passionatly, and innocence couldn’t be found. For the first time they opened their mouths to each other, tongues meeting and tangling. Meto made a small, surprised noise when he felt Tsuzuku’s devilish twin tongue, but otherwise silence reigned. Breath wasn’t needed, and they were wrapped in their hellish world so tight that there was no escape. Arms were wrapped around bodies, holding tighter, clinging to life. In these moments, nothing could touch them. Nothing existed past them and their dark world filled with light.

In their routine something shifted in their hearts. They grew closer, and emotions were shared. They knew each other, had seen into each other’s souls. Tsuzuku realized it wasn’t about a teacher helping a student anymore. It was about a dark beauty only they could understand.

Kisses became a part of their routine too. Kisses like those they shared when Tsuzuku became a masterpiece. Kisses replaced hellos and good-byes. They didn’t kiss because they were in love. Rather, they kissed simply because if they didn’t, something wouldn’t feel right. It was natural to kiss. And, odd as it may have seemed, they always kissed in threes. Never more, never less. It was as if they were compelled to do so.

And Tsuzuku started sharing his dreams. Meto thought they were beautiful. Beautiful, hellish dreams full of demons and death. Dreams that only find company in the dreams of a student, dripping with horror.

It had been a few days since Tsuzuku had been a masterpiece, and he’d just left his office after Meto kissed good-bye. The teacher literally ran into Ryoga outside his office, who pulled Tsuzuku back into the office and shut the door. “What the hell, Ryoga?” he hissed.

The chemistry teacher narrowed his eyes. “I should ask you the same thing. What do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? So you had no idea you were kissing a student?”

Reality hit Tsuzuku like a train. He’d forgotten. How had he forgotten it was illegal to be intimate with a student? “It’s not what it looks like.”

“It seems to me that you’re having an affair with a student! Didn’t I warn you about this?”

“We’re not having an affair.” Tsuzuku said flatly.

Ryoga shot him a cold, hard stare. “Don’t lie to me, Tsu.”

“I’m not lying! We’re not in love!” He wasn’t exactly what they were, but it wasn’t love.

“Then why are you kissing him?”

Tsuzuku faltered. “I don’t know. It’s just...we did once, and...I don’t know. It’d just feel wrong if we didn’t. It’s...It’s just natural. It feels natural.”

Ryoga shook his head. “What the hell are you talking about? Look, it doesn’t matter why. You need to stop. If anybody else had seen you, your license would have already been revoked. You’re lucky it was me. I’ll warn you again. This is a dangerous, dangerous road you’re walking. Get off of it before you go any further. Let go of him. It’ll be better that way.” Ryoga then left, slamming the door behind him.

His words had no effect.

**********

The next day Tsuzuku had kept the blinds to his office closed all day. When Meto entered after school they kissed, and after they parted the third time Meto threw a questioning look to the blinds. “You never close the blinds.”

“My colleague saw us yesterday.” Meto’s eyes widened. “It’s okay,” Tsuzuku soothed. “Ryoga was who saw us. He’s my best friend, and he won’t tell. He warned me, but he won’t tell. But Meto...why do we kiss?”

“I...I don’t know.” He looked into Tsuzuku’s eyes. “I just- if we didn’t everything would feel wrong.”

“It’s natural.”

Meto nodded. “It’s just natural. It’s not even...” He trailed off, almost afraid to say the last word.

“It’s not even love.”

Large doe eyes widened slightly. “I was scared I was wrong...I’m not wrong?”

“If you are then I don’t know it.” On impulse he kissed Meto again. They kissed three times then pulled away.

“Why did you do that?” The student leaned against Tsuzuku, head resting on his chest.

“I don’t know. Do you have any objections?”

“No. But I have a new dream.”

“Tell me.”

**********

More weeks passed without change. The school year was coming to a close, and teachers were pushing grades. The kids were starting to not care, and classes were becoming frustrating. But not Meto. After Tsuzuku had become a masterpiece, the blond’s grades had skyrocketed.

After school they kissed, then Meto curled up in Tsuzuku’s chair. “They made me go to a psychiatrist.” His voice was weaker than Tsuzuku had ever heard it. “I didn’t want to go. I even tried locking myself in my room, but they caught me before I could. They took me to this old man and tried to get me to talk.” Meto took a shaky breath, fighting back tears. Tsuzuku sat on the edge of his desk and took Meto’s hand in comfort. “My parents told him I think about terrible, terrible things. That I must be sick to think such things. Then they left me and him alone. He tried to get me to elaborate, say what I think. I told him I didn’t need his help. That I was already talking to someone who understood. A teacher.” Meto looked up at Tsuzuku and gave him a small smile. “He told my parents what I said, and they made me say which teacher it was. They said they would email you.”

Tsuzuku turned his laptop on and checked his email. “Yeah, they did.” He opened the email and started reading. “They know we have some type of relationship...they want to know more...so they invited me to have dinner with you. This Saturday.” The teacher smiled and chuckled. “I’ve never been so content to have a student take up so much of my time.”

“We won’t be able to kiss,” Meto inserted quietly. “With my parents around we won’t be able to kiss. Everything would feel wrong.”

“I know.” He combed through blond hair. “Is it okay if we kiss more now, instead of later?”

Meto nodded and climbed into Tsuzuku’s lap on the desk. Their lips met naturally, over and over again. Innocent kisses, filled with silent nightmare. Kissed that drowned out the world and made them rulers of their own. Fingers interlaced, and waists were held. To anyone else they were in love, but to them it was purely platonic.

When they parted Meto had to leave. They kissed their customary good-bye and he left. Tsuzuku knew their relationship had changed yet again, and he was okay with that.

**********

Their routine changed. They would start with those sweet, innocent kisses over and over again then talk cuddled into each other. It was natural that this would be the new progression in their relationship, Tsuzuku thought. But at the same time, he was sure that if the next thing they did was have sex, that would feel natural too.

That Friday Meto made his teacher promise that they would kiss sometime during Saturday. The teacher promised and kissed him. For the first time, Meto looked cute.

**********

When Tsuzuku arrived at Meto’s apartment he was greeted by the student’s father. He seemed to be kind, though a little wary. Tsuzuku didn’t understand why he would be. When he was let in he met Meto’s mother, who also seemed kind, yet wary. They introduced themselves as Shinji and Hana.

Meto was sitting at the table, and smiled at Tsuzuku. Tsuzuku smiled back, but they both knew that the evening already felt sour since they didn’t kiss in greeting.

When everyone was settled around the table and dinner was served, questions were asked. “So Tsuzuku-san,” Hana started, “how did your relationship with our son start?”

“Well, Meto has always been a good student but something had been bothering him to the point that his grade was being affected. I asked to talk to him and it just...happened.” The teacher shrugged.

“What do you talk about?” Shinji asked.

“His dreams.”

Hana dropped a chopstick. “You can stand to listen to his talk of burnings?” She asked, incredulous.

From across the table, Meto made a face. “Burnings are ugly. It leaves things all charred and black.” Tsuzuku chuckled at the comment.

“He favors suffocation and bleeding to death. Something about the paleness with a shock of red is just beautiful.” Meto’s parents gave him a strange look. “What? He’s the one that said it. I just listen.” He heard his student giggle, and that made him smile.

The rest of dinner was spent with petty, mindless small talk that neither student nor teacher paid any attention to. All they could think about was righting the evening with kisses and talk of their dreams.

After dinner Meto was asked to leave the room so “the adults could talk.” Tsuzuku thought that was rude (since he considered Meto enough of an adult to sit in on a conversation), but didn’t say anything about it. It wasn’t his place to. Instead he mouthed ‘I promise’ to Meto, which made the student brighten considerably. When Meto’s door closed, his parents started with the questions once again.

“How do you stand to listen to those...disgusting thoughts every day?” Hana asked, making a disgusted face.

Tsuzuku shrugged. “I don’t think it’s disgusting. I think it’s fascinating. All a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“Why you? Why will he talk to you, but not a professional?” Shinji demanded.

Idiotic question, since the answer was obvious. “Meto didn’t want to talk to a professional. He wanted to talk to me. He doesn’t need to be fixed. He just needs someone to talk to that understands.” Impatience grew in Tsuzuku the longer he had to go without that nightmarish presence.

“But you’re just a teacher.” Hana stated.

Tsuzuku narrowed his eyes, feeling insulted. “A teacher is obligated to help their students however they can. This is how I’m helping Meto. Now,” he stood up, “if you’re done questioning me, I’d like to talk to my student.” When they nodded Tsuzuku headed towards Meto’s bedroom.

After Tsuzuku closed the door to the bedroom he found his arms full of Meto. Their lips met automatically, desperate and fervent after being so denied. It was the first time they’d kissed so passionatly, and innocence couldn’t be found. For the first time they opened their mouths to each other, tongues meeting and tangling. Meto made a small, surprised noise when he felt Tsuzuku’s devilish twin tongue, but otherwise silence reigned. Breath wasn’t needed, and they were wrapped in their hellish world so tight that there was no escape. Arms were wrapped around bodies, holding tighter, clinging to life. In these moments, nothing could touch them. Nothing existed past them and their dark world filled with light.

When they parted, it was only because their lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. They migrated to the bed, and curled into each other. Meto’s head laid on his teacher’s shoulder, and their arms and legs were tangled. “Do you have any new dreams?” Tsuzuku asked quietly.

“No. Do you?” Meto whispered.

“One.”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s in Hell, and there’s fire everywhere- except it doesn’t burn anybody. Instead these damned souls find joy in the fire. They’re leaping and dancing, laughing in joy. Except they’re near a cliff, but they don’t know that. The fire obscures everything. So they fall off the edge and fall, fall, fall until they hit the bottom, which is covered in stone spikes. They all get impaled, the spikes cutting through everything, and blood is dripping from the wound. They all still have smiles on their faces, still so happy because of the fire. And when they pale from death, the blood is still red.”

Meto let out a short breath, like he was in awe. “It’s a beautiful dream.” They didn’t talk about Tsuzuku’s dreams often, but Meto loved when they did. To know another mind like his was a joy Meto hadn’t thought he would ever know.

Long minutes of silence blanketed them as they were still curled into each other. They were content to sit like that for all eternity, with the horrors of this room surrounding them. Instead, Meto spoke after these long minutes passed. “I love you,” he breathed.

Maybe he should’ve been shocked. Maybe he should have run far away, or convince Meto that he didn’t feel love. But that wouldn’t have felt natural, or right. “I love you too.”

And maybe they had loved each other for a long time. Maybe they’d loved each other since the day they met, or that day in Tsuzuku’s office. It was hard to tell. Everything they had done felt so natural, like breathing. Maybe they couldn’t breathe without each other. Their souls and minds had finally found companionship and could finally break to the surface to breathe instead of drowning in a sea of emptiness and vague questions and lonely dreams. They’d found each other, and silent promises were made to never let go. They loved each other, and no sins had transpired. Teacher and student didn’t matter. What mattered was that their hearts could bleed.

Tsuzuku hated to leave that night, to leave his horror-wrapped love. They’d kissed more after their confession, full of love and dark horror. It felt like everything had changed, yet everything had stayed the same. Their touches and kisses would still be there, but now they knew of their love and shared that too. Meto was full of curiosity, not having known love before. And Tsuzuku thought that his past experience was uncomparable to this. If this was a fairytale, Tsuzuku would say it was a love so powerful nothing could break it. But this was reality.  _Their_  reality. So instead it was a nightmarish place filled with horror and light that they ruled together, always together.


	3. Teach Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You like pain. Did you know that?”  
> Meto shook his head. “Once I cut myself to see what it would feel like, and it didn’t feel bad...but it didn’t feel good either.”  
> “Do you want to know pain?” Tsuzuku whispered, looking into Meto’s eyes.  
> Their breath mingled as Meto responded. “Teach me.”

That Monday after school they didn’t speak much. Their lips hardly left each other- only parting for breath. They kissed their love and horror as they sat as close as they could on top of the desk. They murmured ‘I love yous’ and bits of dreams in between kisses and breaths.

Time only existed once a phone went off. They jumped at the noise, nearly falling off the desk. Stiff muscles protested as they searched for their phones, Tsuzuku finding his on the ground and Meto finding his teetering on the edge. Meto’s phone was the one that had made the offending noise. “My parents want to know where I am,” he stated.

Tsuzuku frowned and checked the time. It was just after six. School got out at three. “It’s been three hours, Meto. I don’t think you’ve ever stayed that long.” He combed through blond hair.

“But I don’t want to leave,” Meto pouted.

Tsuzuku kissed him. “I know. I don’t want you to go either. I promise that someday, we won’t have to part. But right now you’re still my student, and you still have parents to go home to. And I have work I need to do. I love you.”

“I love you too.” They kissed good-bye and Meto left, albeit reluctantly.

A few seconds after Meto disappeared from his doorway another blond head appeared. “Now, why would he stay for three hours and then sulkily leave? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sulk before.”

Tsuzuku groaned as he slumped in his chair. “Leave me alone, Ryoga.”

Ryoga closed the door and sat in the opposite chair. “Something happened between you two. I don’t know if it’ good or bad - or what you even consider good and bad - but I’m not leaving until I know.”

“I’m not in the mood. Go find someone else to bother. I have work to do.”

“I don’t have anyone else to bother, Tsu. The school is empty except for you, me, the janitor and the principal. Tell me what happened.”

“I’m not obliged to tell you anything.” Tsuzuku started packing up the papers he needed to grade.

“The first sign of a guilty man is hen he stays silent.”

“I’m not guilty of anything.” He started walking out of his office, and Ryoga followed.

“Then why won’t you tell me anything?”

“It’s none of your damn business. If I don’t want to tell, I won’t tell. It’s got nothing to do with guilt. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“You’re eight years older than him, and his teacher. If you’re-”

“It’s none of your goddamn business, Ryoga. We’re not having an affair. That’s that.” Tsuzuku briskly walked away, fear and anger churning in his chest. Ryoga was getting too close, and Tsuzuku was afraid that if he suspected something for much longer he’d report it. He didn’t want Meto to have to go through that. Worry knotted in his throat so tight he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He pulled out his phone and texted Meto.  _~Tell me your dreams.~_

When his lover called in response and Tsuzuku heard his voice, the worry disappeared like blood down a drain.

**********

Tsuzuku started wearing more and more red to please Meto. It probably wasn’t necessary, and distracted Meto from class, but he wanted to. And during the last week of school Meto showed up, metal glinting on his cheek. After school when they met in Tsuzuku’s office they kissed, then the teacher asked about it. “What’s this?” He tapped the cheek piercing.

Meto whined and covered it. “Don’t touch...it’s still sensitive.” Tsuzuku smiled in apology. “I’ve begged my parents to let me get a piercing for months. They finally agreed, saying it was like an end-of-the-school-year present. I surprised them when I got a cheek piercing.”

Another kiss was shared. “I like it. I think it suits you.” They curled into each other.

“I want to get more, but I don’t think my parents would appreciate it. I want some ear and lip piercings too. And maybe a nose ring.”

“I think that you’ll look perfect, darling. you’d look less innocent. You’d look more like your mind.”

Meto giggled. “Darling?”

“You don’t like it? What would you like me to call you?”

“Anything that sounds like me.”

Tsuzuku went silent, thinking. Then he turned Meto’s head and kissed him slowly. “My Beautiful Nightmare.”

**********

The break passed with teacher and student meeting as often as they could. Tsuzuku was surprised to see that with the right clothes his lover could look like a girl. It was almost magical to see the transformation, and maybe the teacher liked it a little too much.

He also surprised Meto when he paid for his lover to get another piercing. He got a lip ring, and Tsuzuku wondered what it would feel like to kiss those newly pierced lips. Arousal shot through him like a bullet at the thought of what kind of sounds Meto would make. Would he like the pain of a new piercing being played with? Tsuzuku pursed his lips as he watched Meto’s own get pierced. That was the first time he’d thought about Meto in a sexual way.

When they entered Tsuzuku’s apartment afterwards, the teacher kissed Meto. The student inhaled sharply at the pain of having his new piercing touched. “Too sensitive?” Tsuzuku asked.

“I-I don’t know.” Meto’s fingers hovered above the new piercing. “The pain...it felt...”

Tsuzuku cut him off with another, hard kiss. Meto moaned loud and gripped onto his teacher. They kissed again, another moan ripping itself from Meto’s throat. When they parted the skin around the piercing was an angry red. “Feel good?” Meto nodded, a whimper coming from him as he touched it. Tsuzuku smirked. His Beautiful Nightmare was a masochist. “You like pain. Did you know that?”

Meto shook his head. “Once I cut myself to see what it would feel like, and it didn’t feel bad...but it didn’t feel good either.”

“Do you want to know pain?” Tsuzuku whispered, looking into Meto’s eyes.

Their breath mingled as Meto responded. “Teach me.”

Tsuzuku kissed him again, hard as he dared. It’d been a long time since he’d given pain, and there was a worry in the back of his head that he’d go too far. But when he heard Meto moan in pleasure his mind went blank. Tsuzuku moved them to the couch and laid Meto down, pinning his hands above his head and holding his hips down with one knee. The teacher kissed down his student’s throat and bit at the base. Meto shouted and strained under his lover, unable to lift his hips. The pain shot wave after wave of liquid hot arousal through him, hardening his cock. The grip on his wrists was so tight it hurt, and the knee on his hip was sharp. But it felt good. It felt like his dreams. Painful and beautiful.

And beautiful is was, even after the pain faded. After the esctacy and sounds of pleasure. As they laid there in silence, wishing dark wishes, their world grew. When all they heard was each other’s breath and heartbeats their hellish minds full of beauty connected and their souls merged together. Reality was wasted in destruction and all they had left was their own nightmarish world where they ruled without fear of consequence.

And they were King and Queen, ruling over this land of horror and light forever.


	4. Remember to Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a few seconds the fear and panic were gone and they were in bliss. Yet they felt their hellish world shattering around them, and it was terrifying. When they parted fearful eyes met. “I’m scared,” Meto whispered.

When school started again, so did their routine. Meto still visited after school but now it seemed other students wanted to talk to Tsuzuku too. It irritated Meto that he had to share his lover and their special time. A couple weeks into the school year Meto had to wait almost an hour to see Tsuzuku after school. And his teacher could tell it bothered him. “You don’t like waiting, do you?” Tsuzuku combed through blond hair.

“I don’t like sharing our time. This is our special time together, and I want it to stay that way. I want to shaare our dreams for hours, like we used to.” His voice stayed whisper-quiet.

They kissed. “I know baby. I love you, and I would love if we could just have this time to ourselves all the time. But I can’t refuse a student if they need help. You know that.”

“I know.” Meto played with his lip ring. “But I don’t think it’s just that. I-I hear students talk. Rumors- about us.” Their worried eyes met. “They say that we’re dating, and that last year we had sex in here. I heard a few of them say that they took your time after school so they can prove we’re dating because I’m still here every afternoon. I’m scared. What if we get found out?”

“We won’t.” He cupped Meto’s face in both hands. “I promise. If you want us to, we can start meeting elsewhere. But for now, tell me your dreams.”

Dreams full of nightmare and horror filled the room with grace and beauty.

**********

Yet again their routine changed. They hardly met in Tsuzuku’s office anymore- rather they met at Meto’s favorite café or left together for Tsuzuku’s apartment. The student got tired of eating alone, and after he talked to Tsuzuku about it, they started having lunch together. Sometimes during the weekends they would meet and talk or simply enjoy each other’s company. Weeks - months - passed with no change and two content lovers who had all but forgotten that what they were doing was a crime.

Then the unadvoidable happened.

It was the middle of the school year, and on this particular day Tsuzuku had made a quick stop in his office after school to pick up some things he needed before he met Meto at the café. The teacher heard a knock on the door, and told whoever it was to come in.

Dread filled him when he saw the principal.

“I’m glad I didn’t miss you,” the principal, Yamada Michio, said. “I have something important I need to discuss with you. Sit down, please.”

Tsuzuku sat, terror ripping his insides, making them bleed. “Yes, Yamada-san?”

“There have been widespread rumors that you are... _involved_...with a male student.” Panic strangled the teacher. No no no no...he promised Meto they wouldn’t be found out. “His name is Meto-kun. And I have a source that claims he saw you two kissing last year.”

Tsuzuku froze. _No._ _.._ Ryoga betrayed him. He suspected something for too long and had reported it.

“Is any of this true, Tsuzuku-kun?”

The principal’s voice brought him back to reality. He smiled, shaky. “It’s all just a misunderstanding, Yamada-kun.”

Grave eyes gazed at him. “I hope it is.”

**********

Tsuzuku had cancelled on his lover, saying he had too much work to do. Meto was dissappointed, but understood. The teacher hated lying to him and longed to be wrapped in his Beautiful Nightmare’s embrace, but was terrified. He was scared that even meeting off of school properties wouldd give them away.

Later Meto texted and when Tsuzuku didn’t text back he started to become worried. The sky was almost completely dark when he finally called his lover, who reluctantly picked up.

“Tsuzuku? What’s wrong?”

The second he heard his lover’s soft, quiet voice he broke. “The principal asked about us today.” Tsuzuku tried not to cry so Meto could understand him. “Ryoga sold us out. And there have been so many rumors...I’m scared, Meto. I can’t be taken away from you. I love you, and I promised I wouldn’t leave you. I promised you we wouldn’t get caught.”

“We...” Terror set into Meto as well. “We need a good cover-up. We-We just say that you’ve been helping me. Like in the beginning. Like you told my parents.” Tsuzuku could hear how close to tears he was, and it broke the teacher’s heart.

“Baby...” Tsuzuku wished they could hold each other.

“I won’t loose you!” The teacher was startled when Meto actually yelled. “I just found you. I finally found someone who understands me and loves me, and I refuse to give it up. I love you so much that sometimes I feel like I’ll drown without you. I-I can share my dreams with you, and I even started to draw again...”

Oh. Tsuzuku hadn’t known that he drew. “What do you draw?”

“I draw my dreams. Once I was naive enough to think I could make a career out of it. But eventhough I’ve been told I’m good I draw all the wrong things.” They could both feel themselves calming down as the topic changed. “Nobody wants a picture of a corpse in their home.”

“You’re not naive, my Beautiful Nightmare. I’m sure there are people who would love to have your art in their home. Because I know that it’s not just a corpse. It’s the very heart of death. It’s beautiful. It’d be a beautiful drawing.”

“You think I could really do it?” Meto’s voice held a child-like hope in it.

“Yeah, I do. With enough determination you could do anything. And I’ll be right there to help you and support you.”

And for a few moments, they agaain ruled their nightmarish world, and reality didn’t exist.

**********

The next morning Tsuzuku and Meto were pulled into the principal’s office as soon as they were at school. Tsuzuku had arrived first, and when Meto entered the office nervous, panicked glances were shared. The principal was already seated behind his desk, his face grave. “I’m sure you both have heard the rumors about yourselves and your  _relationship_.” When they nodded he continued. “Rumors have escalated from spending too much time together to having intercourse on school grounds. If any of this is true, the consequences are severe. Tsuzuku-san, you loose your teaching liscence with the possibility of jail time. And Meto-san, you get expelled from the school and quite possibly the distict. There will be a court case and I can assure you it will go public and nobody will want either of you for anything. Do you understand?” They both nodded, then jumped when they heard the bell ring. “Sit down!” Tamada commanded. The couple slowly sat, eyes wide. “Meto-san, I made sure to excuse you absence today. Tsuzuku-san, I hired a substitue to teach your classes. I expect this to take a while, so don’t expect to go anywhere. I did my research, and I have a lot of questions that need answers. First...why did this...relationship start?”

Tsuzuku bit his lip, worried about what kind of research the principal did. “Meto’s grade in my class was falling, and as a teacher I’m obligated to help a student if they need or want help. Something had been bothering him and it was affecting his grade. We talked after school.”

“What did you talk about?”

“...My dreams,” Meto whispered in the tiniest voice.

“Your dreams? What kinds of dreams are these?”

Meto hid his face. “Most people think they’re terrible, terrible things. I dream of death. Plants and people, mostly. But I never kill anybody. It’s like I just watch it happen.” Tears soaked his school pants- as he’d curled himself up.

“It’s not because he hates someone,” Tsuzuku interjected. “These dreams are indiscriminate. It’s just that some look prettier dead, because they’re pale and peaceful. And everybody looked prettier when they’re peaceful.”

Yamada nodded slowly. He tried to stay stone-cold professional, but Tsuzuku saw a note of disgust in his eyes. “And how long did this go on?”

Meto looked up, confused. “Did? I still tell him my dreams. And he tells me his.”

Tsuzuku shot Meto a look that clearly stated that the student wasn’t supposed to say that. Yamada raised an eyebrow. “Tsuzuku-san? Do you know what he’s talking about?”

The teacher swallowed. “I have dreams too. But they’re different. They-”

“-Involve demons, and damned souls. Nameless, faceless souls who’ve found their way into Hell. It’s beautiful, really,” Meto finished.

“Okay.” The principal didn’t like what they were talking about, but it wasn’t illegal. They were, essentially, swapping stories. “I have a source who claims he saw you two kiss. Care to explain?”

It was silent while they both tried to come up with an explanation. Tsuzuku’s panicked mind couldn’t come up with an excuse though, so he was just going to take the fall for it. “It wasn’t his fault!” Meto burst out. Both older men looked startled.

“I-I’d been wondering what it was like to kiss someone, since I’d never been kissed before. I was with Tsuzuku-sensei and on impulse I kissed him. I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear.” Tears were freely flowing down the student’s face, and Tsuzuku ached to hold him and wipe those tears away.

“And it never happened again,” the teacher started. “I told him he shouldn’t have done it, and he understood. He helped me grade papers as an apology.”

“Yet from then on you’ve kept the blinds to your office closed, Tsuzuku-san. I haven’t seen them open since last winter.”

Tsuzuku let out a shaky breath. What the hell have they done, made a fucking timeline?? “I had an excruciating headache the next day and closed my blinds because of my migrane. I just keep forgetting to open them.” They heard the bell for the next class go off.

“The timing is pretty convenient.”

“It was a coincidence.”

Yamada again rose an eyebrow. “And a few days before that, collegues claim you came to school with cuts all over your body. It was only after that that Meto’s grades started to increase, and you just confessed to me that Meto-san thinks of such things. So Meto-san, why would you want to harm your teacher?”

Neither of them thought that that much research had been done. Meto was scared of how deep they actually dug. “I didn’t do it.”

“Evidence says otherwise. Have you ever had  _dreams_  about your sensei?”

For a few seconds Meto wondered if he should lie. “Of course. My dreams are indiscriminate. But in these dreams I neever hurt anyone. It’s like I’m just there to watch.”

“How do you feel when you have these dreams?”

Meto knew what the principal was implying, and he almost rolled his eyes at the thought. “I feel...in awe. It’s like I’m on a cloud. Reality doesn’t exist. I see these beautiful things, and I feel like I’ve seen the most magnificent wonder the whole universe could offer me. It’s like a child seeing fireworks, I guess. Except without the giddyness. I just feel the awe.”

The principal narrowed his eyes, feeling like Meto had dodged the question. “Your collegues said you told them it was from intimate activites,” he directed towards Tsuzuku.

The teacher nodded. “They were. It was a girl, Yui. I can’t remember her last name. We just had some fun.”

“Yet it was only after this event that Meto-san’s grades went up. It wasn’t after you two started talking. It was after this event. Why?”

Answers were being demanded. Answers they couldn’t give. That was crossing a line that would get them in trouble. When neither of them spoke for minutes on end, Yamada grew impatient. “I need answers. Now!”

Another minute of silent pressure, and Meto cracked. “I did it, okay?” he screamed. Never in all their time together had Tsuzuku heard him scream. Never had he sounded this desperate, and he had never cried this much. “That’s what had been bothering me. That was my dream about him. I told him. And he said he’d actually do it. I never-” Meto stood and started to pace. “It was never about sex! It wasn’t about love! It was about beauty! It’s always about beauty. I just- he looks better in red.” The small student collapsed to the floor, sobbing.

All Tsuzuku wanted to do was hold Meto and kiss the tears away, tell him it was okay. But he could only sit there and listen to his lover’s pained sobs while his own heart consticted more with each heartbeat.

“So the truth comes out, hm?” Yamada muttered.

Sudden anger filled Tsuzuku to the brim as he watched the principal be so apathetic while his love was on the ground, crying his heart out. “What the hell do you want? Cruel bastard.” The teacher got out of his chair to embrace Meto on the floor, letting the student leech onto him. He rubbed Meto’s back soothingly, occasionally whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Eventually the sobs subsided, and another bell rang. Little hiccups left Meto’s mouth by the time Tsuzuku pulled away. “Are you okay now?” he asked gently. Meto nodded and with heavy limbs climbed back into his seat.

“You care for him,” Yamada stated.

Anger flashed through Tsuzuku. “No shit, Sherlock. I’ve spent almost every day for the past year getting to know him. Of course I care. And I’m sorry if my heart doesn’t allow me to just sit back and watch a child cry their eyes out.”

It seemed that the principal largely ignored Tsuzuku’s comment. “And no...intimate...activites transpired?”

“No, of course not! I was just helping a student,” Tsuzuku defended.

“That’s pretty extreme help.”

“It’s the help he needed. No other intimate activies transpired. It was consensual. This was nothing illegal.”

“Maybe not.” The principal stood. “We will take a half hour break while I talk to my advisors. If you two decide to run into Tsuzuku-san’s office, I want the blinds open and the door cracked. Understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Meto said quietly. He stood and bowed, then left the room. Tsuzuku followed suit.

The second they entered Tsuzuku’s office they kissed passionately. For a few seconds the fear and panic were gone and they were in bliss. Yet they felt their hellish world shattering around them, and it was terrifying. When they parted fearful eyes met. “I’m scared,” Meto whispered.

“I know, baby. I’m scared too. We’ll make it through this, I swear.”The teacher opened the blinds like he was told, and reluctantly opened the door. “We just...I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I wasn’t careful enough.”

Meto shook his head. “We never did anything wrong. It’s not wrong. How can something like this be wrong?”

Tsuzuku sat in his office chair and Meto followed, sitting in the chair on the other side of the desk. Their hands clasped and their fingers interlaced.

“I have a new dream,” Meto whispered.

“What is it about?”

“You.”

“What am I doing?”

“Bleeding.”

“Why am I bleeding?”

“I-I don’t know. You’re on your knees, on the ground. Your wrists are chained in opposite directions and you’re bleeding,” Meto reached out and touched Tsuzuku’s chest, “here. And it says something.”

“What does it say?”

More tears left Meto’s eyes. “ _Hope_. Your chest says ‘ _hope_.’”

Tsuzuku tightened his grip on his lover’s hand. “Then we’ll hope. My Beautiful Nightmare, remember to hope.”

_*Soulmates.*_ Ryoga had heard the dream, and that was the only word that came to mind. All of a sudden he wished he hadn’t reported them.


	5. Teach Me Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It hurts.” Meto started crying again. “I can’t take all of it by myself. I don’t want to feel it. Please, take the pain away.”  
> Tsuzuku pulled Meto into his arms and kissed him. Furious passion melted into the kiss and they held onto each other like a lifeline. All worries of being caught drifted away. Tsuzuku pushed Meto against the door, slamming it shut. Soft moans could be heard, and their breath mingled. The teacher lifted Meto off the ground so they’d be level, and the blond automatically wrapped his legs around Tsuzuku’s waist.  
> They parted for breath, and Tsuzuku nuzzled Meto’s neck. “My Beautiful Nightmare,” he murmured, “I love you so much, and I’d do anything for you...”  
> “Take me."

When they had to go back to the principal’s office, the couple was decidedly stronger. They clung to the new dream like a lifeline, hoping and praying to their dark gods that it would come true. They washed their faces and dried their tears, ready to face the rest of the interrogation.

“Other staff members have asked you if you were dating someone this last year, Tsuzuku-san. This was also when your time with Meto-san kept growing.” It had been a statement, but an answer was still being demanded.

“It’s merely a coincidence. That was when we were getting to know each other, and we just kept spending more time together,” Tsuzuku responded.

“And what about the lunches you’ve been spending together recently?” Yamada raised an eyebrow.

“That was me,” Meto murmured. “I don’t really have friends, and I was tired of eating alone.”

“You seem to have initiated a lot of this, Meto-san. Maybe I should be asking you questions instead.” The student visibly swallowed. “You two seem to be meeting less, but I know that’s not true. Are you going somewhere else?”

Hesitantly, Meto nodded. “A little café, mostly. I really like it’s sweets. I hated hearing all the rumors.”

“Did you go anywhere else more...private?”

“A park, sometimes.” The student pulled his knees up to his chin. “I liked the quiet. Sometimes the café got really noisy.”

Tsuzuku was relieved when Meto lied about the second location. If it was found out that they went to Tsuzuku’s apartment, they would be ripped apart in half a second.

“What happened when you went to the park?”

Meto shrugged. “We’d talk. Sometimes we’d just enjoy the quiet. And sometimes I helped grade papers.”

Yamada sighed. “I don’t think you’re getting my point. Did you or did you not have intercourse?” His face grew hard.

“No!” They both shouted. And it was true. There was the time after Meto’s lip got pierced, but they hadn’t gone all the way. And they hadn’t done anything since.

“I would _never_  touch a student like that!”

“He hasn’t touched me! There was only that one mistake of a kiss,” Meto internally cringed at his words, “and nothing else has happened! We just  _talk_.”

“Has there been any touching? Tell me the truth!”

“No!” Tsuzuku shouted. “We haven’t touched each other. We’ve done nothing wrong!”

Yamada focused on the student. “Meto-san, tell me. Have you touched each other?”

“No.” The blond’s voice was quiet again. “Never. We just share our dreams.” All of the kisses they shared crossed his mind, and he played with his lip ring.

“You’re not telling me something,” Yamada stated.

It was a few seconds before Meto responded. “We-We talk about our lives. Sometimes it’s really private things. We share our minds and souls.”

“Are you dating?”

“No. It’s  _platonic_ ,” Meto whispered. “It’s like we’re family.”

More grueling questions were asked, and eventually it was found out that Tsuzuku had paid for Meto’s lip ring. It was also forced out that Tsuzuku had had dinner with Meto’s family. They managed to keep quiet that they met up at weekends, thankfully. By the time they were done with the interrogation, school had been out for a while.

“Meto-san, your parents will be informed of this, and I want to see you both here this Saturday, 8 A.M. sharp. If someone doesn’t show up assumptions will be made. Do you understand?” They gave affirmatives and left, both of them exhausted.

Once they left school grounds, Meto whispered, “What do we do?”

“I don’t know, baby. But we can’t keep seeing each other. At least until this is settled. I’m sorry, but we can’t give them any reason to suspect us.”

“But...our kisses and our dreams...” Meto felt on the verge of tears.

“You can still text and call Meto. But right now we can’t meet...I’m sorry. I wish we didn’t have to do this.” He gave Meto a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

When Meto got home he recieved a text from Tsuzuku. _~Remember to hope.~_

**********

When Meto’s parents were informed later that night, it was quiet at first- like they were shocked. Then they started arguing with each other and then finally confronted Meto about it. The student was exhausted from the earlier interrogation and didn’t want to deal with his parents, so he just told them it was all rumors and they had nothing to worry about before he closed and locked his door. For a few minutes they yelled at him through the door, but he ignored them in favor of the horror movie that was playing on his laptop. His parents seemed to give up and walked away after they heard the screams of people dying.

Exhausted as he was, Meto woke up late for school the next day and decided to just not go. He didn’t really want to deal with any new rumors or harassment from students and texted Tsuzuku as such, stamping an ‘I love you’ onto the end. His lover texted back a half hour later, presumably in between classes. It was affirmed that students had already heard of their interrogation and had been throwing rude comments to Tsuzuku all day. He ended the message with an ‘I miss you and love you’ and a sad emoticon. It made Meto smile, and he sent a heart back.

The student spent the day on his laptop, watching movies and cuddling his favorite bear. He didn’t eat until noon, even though he hadn’t eaten since breakfast the day before. He’d had too much on his mind to think of eating and had been too exhausted. He thought the day was pretty shitty, even though he had his favorite bear and favorite movies to keep him company.

And the next day was only worse.

From the moment he entered school, Meto was bombarded with mean jokes and found vulgar notes in his locker. The blond blatantly ignored all of it, even when he was called out in the middle of class to go fuck a teacher.

When he left his last class before lunch, he was unexpectedly shoved against a row of lockers. Meto let out a pained yell and found that the person who assaulted him was his long-lost friend, MiA. “MiA. What are you doing?” Meto asked, shocked.

The other blond chuckled. “You won’t fuck me, but you’ll fuck a teacher? That’s pretty sick, Meto-chan,” he taunted.

“We never fucked.”

“Hmm...Rumor says otherwise. But you’re already pretty sick, huh? Thinking such things.” He pressed himself harder against Meto. “But you’d still make a good fuck, hm? Such a tight body...I could make you scream.”

Disgust ran through Meto like a wildfire. “Get off of me. I don’t want you. I never have. Leave me alone.” He managed to push MiA off of him and started to walk away.

“Running away to your sensei?” Mia taunted. “Fine, cry to your teacher and have him fuck you instead. I’m sure you beg him to every night.”

Meto hid on the roof at lunch, trying to get away from the taunts and rumors. He texted Tsuzuku, complaining about all of it- especially MiA. His lover offered comfort in stories of what had happened to him.

The day after that was Friday, and Meto had had enough. The other students quickly became violent, trying to hurt Meto while mocking him. He always got away, but wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He knew that just because the issue with the principal would be resolved didn’t mean that the students would stop. Meto considered transferring somewhere this wouldn’t follow him.

He wasn’t angry, he was  _hurt_. These students mocked him and were disgusted by him and his love for Tsuzuku. How could someone be disgusted by something so beautiful? Once he came home from school he locked himself in his room and cried for most of the afternoon.

The sun had set when the tears finally stopped. It was midnight when he decided to sneak out, unable to bear all the hurt alone.

Tsuzuku heard his doorbell ring sometime after midnight, and he had just been going to bed. “What the hell...” he muttered as he padded back to the front of his apartment. Shock entered the teacher as he opened the door. “Meto, you can’t be here...”

“It hurts.” Meto started crying again. “I can’t take all of it by myself. I don’t want to feel it. Please, take the pain away.”

Tsuzuku pulled Meto into his arms and kissed him. Furious passion melted into the kiss and they held onto each other like a lifeline. All worries of being caught drifted away. Tsuzuku pushed Meto against the door, slamming it shut. Soft moans could be heard, and their breath mingled. The teacher lifted Meto off the ground so they’d be level, and the blond automatically wrapped his legs around Tsuzuku’s waist.

They parted for breath, and Tsuzuku nuzzled Meto’s neck. “My Beautiful Nightmare,” he murmured, “I love you so much, and I’d do anything for you...”

“Take me,” Meto whispered, barely audible.

“What?” The teacher pulled back some.

“I want you to take me. I want you to teach me pain.”

“But Meto...if we do...this could ruin all the lies we told to stay together. Wouldn’t I be your first?”

“I want you to be my first,” Meto whispered, caressing Tsuzuku’s cheek. “I want you to show me. And the lies...we can still keep the lies. Nothing will have changed. Please, trust me. Teach me pain.”

Tsuzuku kissed him gently. “My very own Nightmare...how could I refuse?”

**********

The pain was beautiful. Tsuzuku cut him and bit him- restrained him and bruised him. Yet even as Meto was hurt the tears were kissed away and the wounds licked. They made love slow and gentle, and Meto thought it would be different.

Meto thought it would be painful, that it would hurt more. And maybe it would have if it hadn’t been with Tsuzuku. Instead their nightmarish world rebuilt itself, stronger and brighter and darker than ever. They became the heart of horror,moving with unspoken dreams. Their souls opened, thrumming with dark thoughts. Horrific beauty surrounded them, and they came in esctacy.

Faint moonlight shone through the window as they laid there, covered in blood and semen and sweat. They kissed gently and innocently. They whispered ‘I love yous” and held each other close. Eventually Tsuzuku cleaned them up and bandaged Meto’s open love-wounds. It was somewhere around two o’clock in the morning when the teacher crawled back into bed. “You should’ve come earlier...” Tsuzuku muttered.

“Hm?” Meto had almost fallen asleep from Tsuzuku’s loving treatment.

“I’m assuming you snuck out, and when your parents wake up tomorrow and find that you’re gone they’ll panic. And if the principal hears of that, we’re ruined. Plus if we walk in together- especially since you’ll be limping- and they put two and two together...I go to jail, you get expelled, and we’ll never see each other again. I’m serious when I say all our lives will be for naught. I’ve never loved anybody so much, and I don’t think I could live if I lost you. It’s terrifying.” Unconsciously, Tsuzuku tightened his hold on Meto.

“We’ll just lie some more. I’ll come up with something. You promised you’d stay. You promised we wouldn’t get caught. And you promised to help me with my career. I hope you can keep all your promises.

Tsuzuku swallowed. “Remember to hope, my Beautiful Nightmare. Hold on to that dream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only four more chapters to go! It saddens me a little, because I love this story so much but you have to move on sometime. I already have the next story to upload planned, but I need to basically start from scratch :/ Not looking forward to that...  
> Anyways! I hope you all love the story thus far (I know this chapter has lots of different bad feels) and leave a comment or kudos please! It really does mean a lot, especially since this is my first upload, and I'm incredibly proud of this story. I thank everyone who reads this story and has already commented and given kudos already! <3


	6. A Devil & A Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not like that!” Meto yelled, frustrated tears flowing down his face. “I just liked being able to talk to someone. Nobody else would listen. Everybody else is scared. I’m sorry if you don’t understand,but this...sometimes it’s all I have! And I refuse to let it be taken from me! We’re friends. That’s all.”  
> He sounded bitter, angry and frustrated. Tsuzuku had never heard him sound like that, and judging from how Meto’s parent’s looked, they hadn’t either. Tsuzuku shook his head. “We haven’t done anything wrong. Why do you keep insisting that we have?”

 When Meto woke up he found himself encased in inked arms. He smiled and turned in his lover’s hold, snuggling into that painted chest. He unexpectedly heard Tsuzuku laugh. “Good morning, love,” the teacher smiled.

“ Morning...I like walking up in your arms.” He buried his face in Tsuzuku’s chest, still trying to wake up.

The groggy, cute comment made Tsuzuku chuckle. “I like waking up with you in my arms.” He kissed Meto’s head. “Do you want something to eat before we have to leave?”

“You can cook?” The student looked up at him with wide doe eyes.

Tsuzuku rolled his eyes, a little, silly smile on his face. “I can make a simple breakfast, at least. C’mon. Get dressed while I make up something. I know those weren’t pajamas you came in last night.”

It was comfortable and somehow  _normal_  to start the morning with Tsuzuku. It was safe in his lover’s arms and home. When Meto was done dressing in day-old clothes he joined Tsuzuku in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around the older man’s naked torso and nuzzled in between his shoulder blades. “I love you.”

The teacher smiled. “I love you too.”

“I like your apartment better than mine.”

Amusement flickered in Tsuzuku. “Why’s that?”

“Because you’re here.”

Tsuzuku’s heart melted at the comment. He stopped chopping vegetables to turn and face his lover, smiling wide. “I like it more when you’re here too. Maybe we’ll be able to move in together soon, ne?” Meto nodded and they kissed before the teacher resumed making breakfast.

*********

Meto left the apartment ten minutes before Tsuzuku so they would arrive at school at different times. When Meto left the soreness from the night grew into something almost unbearable. It was incredibly difficult to walk right, but he knew he had to so nobody suspected anything.

When he entered the principal’s office he was shocked to find his parents there. “W-What are you doing here?”

His mother rushed to hug him. “Meto! We were so worried. We woke up and you were gone without a trace! Where were you?”

Meto was about to tell a lie when the principal spoke up. “All questions will be answered in time. Don’t worry, we will get to the bottom of everything.” The student sat in the chair, wincing as he did so. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to have his first time the night before, but it had felt right. Everything he did with Tsuzuku felt right.

When the teacher arrived he seemed startled that Meto’s parents were also there. When Tsuzuku sat down the questions started.

“I have done some research into your relationship,” Yamada started, “and I have found some interesting discrepancies. It seems that during the dinner you shared at Meto-san’s house, the two of you were left alone for a while. In fact, Tsuzuku-san requested that he have time alone with his student.”

“The dreams we share are private. They’re not for just anyone to hear,” Tsuzuku responded.

“Yet when Meto-san’s parents checked on you, they said it was quite  _silent_. Were there any other activities going on?”

“We sit in silence a lot,” Meto piqued. It put him on edge that his parents were in the room, but he largely tried to ignore it. “Sometimes we don’t talk. We just enjoy each other’s company.”

Yamada nodded. “When I questioned Meto-san’s parents, they told me the name of this little café you two frequent. I talked to some of the staff and they said you two are...intimate. They said you look like a couple.”

Tsuzuku cursed himself. They’d been more open than they should have, and Tsuzuku had to take the fall for it.

“It’s my fault.” All eyes turned towards Meto. “I’m a really affectionate person, and I don’t have anybody to share it with. After I befriended Tsuzuku-sensei, I may have been more affectionate than I should have, but it wasn’t romantic or anything. I swear.”

“And why did you allow it, Tsuzuku-san?”

“I...” The teacher bit his lip. “It wasn’t romantic, and I didn’t see a problem with it. I’m sure that if he had someone else to show affection towards, there would have been less of it, but as it was...” Tsuzuku shrugged.

“What do you mean he had no one else to show affection towards?”

Tsuzuku took a deep breath. “Meto has told me that because of his dreams, he’s scared friends away. He’s the black sheep of his family, and even his relationship with his parents is strained. He was alone.”

The principal took the information in, then looked at Meto. “And on that note, Meto-san’s parents called the school this morning when they woke up to find their child gone. They couldn’t call Meto-san because he had left his phone, and he hadn’t even left a note to say where he was. Where did you go, Meto-san?”

The student played with his lip ring before he answered. “I took a walk. I know it was late- or early- but I was really stressed out and need some fresh air. I’m sure you know that since our first...interrogation both me and Tsuzuku-sensei have been mocked and bullied by other students. They quickly became violent and even though I was never hurt it really stressed me out. I couldn’t sleep so I took a walk. I forgot my phone and stuff.”

Tsuzuku was impressed by how believable the lie was. “Why didn’t you return home?” Yamada asked.

Meto’s quiet voice continued. “I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn’t even notice when dawn came. I probably dozed off sometime, but I don’t know. When I saw a clock I knew that I didn’t have time to go home then come here, so I just walked here.” Meto sucked on his bottom lip as memories from the night before surfaced. He pulled his knees up to his chest.

“Another discrepancy is that Meto-san’s parents were told that you had saved up enough money to get the lip piercing done, when you told me that Tsuzuku-san paid for it. Which is the truth, Meto-san?”

Meto played with his lip piercing again. “T-Tsuzuku-sensei paid for it,” he whispered.

“Why did you lie?”

“I...” Meto could feel his parents’ stares, and it made him uncomfortable. “I knew they wouldn’t like it and would assume things.”

“Tsuzuku-san, why would you pay for something like that?”

The teacher swallowed. “He told me he liked piercings, and wanted to get more than the one he already had. Sometimes I felt like I hadn’t really done much for him with all the time we spent together, and I really wanted to do something for him. It was a gift.”

“That’s one hell of a gift.”

Tsuzuku shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. “It was really the only thing he had specified that he wanted, and I wanted to give him a gift.”

Anybody would be able to tell that Yamada didn’t believe a word Tsuzuku said, but he let it slide. “It’s strange that you two would meet when school was out of session.”

“I told you before,” Meto whispered, “it’s like we’re family. Tsuzuku-sensei is a really great friend.”

“You haven’t met since we last talked,” Yamada commented. “If there was nothing to hide, you’d still be meeting.”

“It’s not like that,” Tsuzuku started.

“I requested that we stop.” Meto spoke up before Tsuzuku could finish. “I was scared that if we met and somebody saw anything it would be taken the wrong way and we’d get punished. I’ve just been so affectionate, and I didn’t want somebody to think we were something other than friends.” Meto hoped his lie would be enough.

“But if you are just friends, there would be no need to worry about how people see you.”

“Our relationship is under investigation,” Tsuzuku stated. “We have every right to worry how someone will perceive an innocent touch.”

It was another hour of questions running in circles before they took a break. Tsuzuku and Meto headed for the teacher’s office, and were unknowingly followed by Meto’s parents.

When they entered the office Meto slid down the wall underneath the windows. Tsuzuku joined him and combed through blond hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore. But it was worth it. To have you so close to me was so perfect and I loved every second of it. I think...I think it made us stronger. At least I haven’t cried yet today, right? And the questions don’t seem so intimidating.” Those big doe eyes held so much love for this one person, and it warmed Tsuzuku’s heart.

“What about the dream of hope?” Tsuzuku asked.

“I won’t stop thinking about it. It’s so beautiful, and your constant reminder helps too.” Meto smiled, tracing the word on his teacher’s chest.

Tsuzuku caught the small hand in his and kissed Meto. They kissed deeply, reality melting away. When they pulled apart Tsuzuku chuckled. “What if they catch us?”

“We’re under the windows. They can’t see us here.” He tugged his lover to straddle him and initiated a second kiss. Hands clutched at hair and tongues met. Little breathy moans left their mouths as they kissed, falling deeper and deeper into their nightmarish world. They pulled apart and Meto smiled, letting out a little giggle. “I like your tongue,” he breathed.

“Why’s that?”

“It’s like a snake’s forked tongue, and the snake is a symbol for the devil. So...it’s like my lover is the devil.” Meto traced Tsuzuku’s lips.

The teacher licked those fingers and smiled. “A nightmare and the devil...a perfect match.” He kissed Meto once more before standing. The student stood as well. Tsuzuku frowned as a thought occurred to him. “Why are you taking the blame for everything?”

“If you did we’d be ruined. If you initiated the kiss or if you wanted us to start spending more time together...there are implications of unwanted affection- and maybe even worse. But me? I have nobody except for my teacher, and I’m just overly affectionate. Trust me, Devil. It’ll work.” The nickname was accidental, and he wasn’t sure his lover would like it.

Tsuzuku smirked. “Devil? Hmm...I like it. A devil and a nightmare are perfect for each other, ne?” He chuckled and leaned in just a little. “Makes me wanna ravish you all over again,” he whispered. “Mark you and choke you...make you scream.”

Meto shivered and let out a shaky breath. “Seriously the devil...” he muttered, and Tsuzuku laughed.

**********

“Did you know you were being watched, Meto-san?”

The student was taken aback. “No.”

Yamada nodded towards Meto’s parents. “They wanted to know how you two interact, so they followed you. The first thing you did was hide under the window. Why?”

“These questions are exhausting,” Meto responded quietly. “I simply sat on the floor and Tsuzuku-sensei followed me.”

“What did you talk about?”

Tsuzuku bit his lip. “We...” He sighed before he continued. “We talked about how ridiculous these questions are since we haven’t done anything wrong." He paused for a second. "And Meto’s drawings.” Yamada raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“Sometimes I draw my dreams,” the student whispered. “I hadn’t drawn for a while until Tsuzuku-sensei and I became close. Then I started drawing again.” Meto wasn’t sure why Tsuzuku had chosen a lie like that, but it was better than the truth.

The principal mentally went over everything he had learned about them. So far, it seemed like an overly affectionate student and a teacher who unwisely let it happen. But the way they were defending their relationship- insisting over and over that is was platonic and not romantic and how they had done nothing wrong- made it seem like they  _were_  hiding something and  _had_ done something wrong. “I know you two are hiding something. Meto-san, what time did you leave your home last night?”

The student shrugged. “Two or three maybe? I didn’t check the time before I left.”

“Where did you go? It’s hard to believe you stayed outside all night. It got pretty cold.”

Damn rationality. Meto propped his knees up to his chin. “I had some money, so I went into some little shop and bought a cup of tea. I found a park after that and I guess I dozed off. I don’t know. Next thing I know it’s morning and I had to come here.”

Yamada laced his fingers together. “I’m not sure I believe you. Tsuzuku-san, did you get any late night visitors?”

Fear ripped through both of them. “I don’t know where he lives,” Meto said, so quiet he could barely be heard. “I just took a walk.”

“We haven’t seen each other. I swear.”

More questions, and he principal found out they’d meet on weekends. “Where would you go?”

“The park, mostly. The café is usually really crowded on weekends,” Tsuzuku responded.

“Why did this start?” Yamada asked.

“I asked him if we could,” Meto replied- maybe a little too quickly. “I-I just wanted to spend more time together. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Tears leaked out of his eyes, and Tsuzuku could tell he was frustrated.

“It sounds like you’re at fault for coming on to your teacher, Meto-san.”

“It’s not like that!” Meto yelled, frustrated tears flowing down his face. “I just liked being able to talk to someone. Nobody else would listen. Everybody else is scared. I’m sorry if you don’t understand,but this...sometimes it’s all I have! And I refuse to let it be taken from me! We’re _friends_. That’s  _all._ ”

He sounded bitter, angry and frustrated. Tsuzuku had never heard him sound like that, and judging from how Meto’s parent’s looked, they hadn’t either. Tsuzuku shook his head. “We haven’t done anything wrong,” the teacher said, exasperated. “Why do you keep insisting that we have?”

For a few moments, Yamada was motionless as he thought. Then he leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I think we’re done here. There is no proof you are in a relationship. I will run this by my advisors so there will be no final answer for a few days. But we will be watching you very closely, Tsuzuku-san. And I’m sure your parents will do the same for you, Meto-san. You two are hanging on by a thread. If anything is seen between you two, it will be reported and further investigation will be required. The intimacy needs to stop. Do you understand?” They both nodded, relieved. “And on the subject of the bullying, the students will be notified that what they heard were simple rumors and if the bullying persists, consequences will be severe.” Meto muttered a ‘thank you,’ and Tsuzuku did the same. The student didn’t even say anything to his parents before he walked into Tsuzuku’s office. He was relieved when the teacher followed him.

“We can’t meet anymore,” Meto whispered.

“That’s not true,” Tsuzuku assured. He longed to wrap his arms around his lover but he couldn’t even hold his hand. “We just have to make sure we meet somewhere else. Maybe we should go to a park. Meet at a different café. We can still go to my apartment. I promised you I wouldn’t leave and staying away for half a year would kill me. I’d be breaking a promise. I love you, my Beautiful Nightmare. I’d do anything for you. Hell, at this point I might actually kill if you told me to.”

Emotions tangled themselves together in a web over Meto’s heart. “O-Okay. We can...yeah. I love you too. A devil and a nightmare, right? The perfect match.” A shaky smile.

Tsuzuku smiled softly back. “And a dream of bloodied hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I recently discovered, my Meto is almost an exact copy of one of my real life friends! (Not to mention I wrote this long, long before we discovered this...O.o) So I am (belatedly) dedicating this story to her. I will not name names, but she knows who she is and that I love her dearly <3


	7. Come With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teacher caressed Meto’s cheek. “If you asked me to I would follow you to the ends of the Earth. Besides, I’ve always wanted to go to Kyoto.” He let out a tiny huff of a laugh, then looked deep into his lover’s eyes. “My life isn’t here. My life is with you.” They kissed softly, hearts entwining.  
> “Then come with me.”

Tsuzuku had avoided Ryoga for a week, even though it seemed the other wanted to talk to him. They had nothing to say to each other. Tsuzuku and Meto had almost been caught because of him.

Ryoga managed to corner his colleague after school, a week after everything with the principal had been taken care of. Tsuzuku tried to shove past him but the other teacher held firm. “Tsuzuku, just listen to me!”

Tsuzuku’s jaw ticked. “What do I have to listen to? You tried to out us!”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was serious or that you had such a connection.” Ryoga looked like he was pleading with his coworker and friend.

“And sorry won’t cut it. We  _are_ serious. What did you think it was? That I would have an affair with a student for fun? There’s a  _connection_ , Ry. We have something that I have never felt before! We understand each other to the very depths of our souls and we don’t have to worry about sounding like freaks. The rest of the world _hates_  what we think about. I won’t give him up. He’s the best goddamned thing that has ever happened to me.” Tsuzuku felt like crying- maybe out of love or frustration or something else entirely, he couldn’t be sure. “ _I love him_. I love him to the very depths of my soul. He’s not just any seventeen year old. He’s different. He...” The teacher choked on his words for a second, feeling his heart swell with how much he loved Meto. “He’s mine. He thinks about these beautiful things and tells me and its so beautiful that sometimes I feel like crying. He draws these things and it’s different from your usual murder and gore. It’s death at the very core of what death is. Its beautiful and lovely and when he draws mine my heart explodes for a few minutes while I stare at it.” He held back tears, the images of those drawing surfacing in his head. Beautiful, graceful pieces of art that could never be compared to anything else this world could offer. “We love each other, and understand each other. It’s the most incredible thing I have ever felt. Nothing can tear us apart. We wouldn’t be able to handle it if we were.”

Ryoga stepped back a little, shocked to see his friend almost in tears. “I know that now,” he said soft. “ I...I heard the dream of hope from his lips. How you both looked when he said that...” He swallowed, trying to find the right words. “It was like nothing I had ever seen before. Like you’re soulmates. Please...Please forgive me. I was wrong, I know that know. I just want to make it right again.”

Tsuzuku took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “You heard that?”

Ryoga nodded. “I can’t say I understand, but the way you two reacted was like you had just heard something magnificent. I can see how in love you are. I want to make up for my mistake. Please, forgive me.”

“You have a lot of making up to do. You almost got us caught.” Tsuzuku allowed himself a small smile.

Ryoga let out a shaky breath and put on a shaky smile. “How do I start?”

**********

The bullying had subsided quite a bit once the announcement of severe punishment was made. Teacher and student met with more secrecy- which resulted in Meto sneaking out a lot. They’d often meet at Tsuzuku’s apartment, and did more kissing than talking. It wasn’t often they would continue into something sexual, but it was intense when they did. They both would gain marks- cuts, bites bruises and scratches. Sometimes they would try to go without pain, but Meto seemed addicted to the pain and would always ask for it. And Tsuzuku couldn’t refuse him.

About a month after they had almost been caught, they were at Tsuzuku’s apartment, kissing their souls to each other. A sudden thought occurred to the teacher as they pulled away for breath. “Are you studying for entrance exams?”

Meto pouted at the loss of kisses. “Yes. I’m studying for a University, but my first choice is and art school in Kyoto. My parents aren’t very happy about it, but they’re letting me.”

Tsuzuku smiled. “I’m glad you’re reaching for your dream, baby.”

Meto kissed him. “It’s all because of you Devil. You give me hope.” Nervousness hit him like a knife to the chest. “...What happens to us? If I get in I’ll move to Kyoto. Your life is here, in Tokyo.”

The teacher caressed Meto’s cheek. “If you asked me to I would follow you to the ends of the Earth. Besides, I’ve always wanted to go to Kyoto.” He let out a tiny huff of a laugh, then looked deep into his lover’s eyes. “My life isn’t here. My life is with you.” They kissed softly, hearts entwining.

“Then come with me.”

**********

Once February came around Meto was full of nervous energy, waiting on the results of his entrance exams. Tsuzuku was amused at how anxious his lover was, and thought it was cute. When results were posted Meto skipped a day to see them at the school itself and see where he might be living.

Tsuzuku wished he could accompany his lover, but he was still being watched and both of them gone the same day would send red flags. However, he was checking online for any schools needing a Japanese teacher. There were a few that interested him, but Tsuzuku wasn’t going to apply yet. If Meto’s results came back and he failed, they wouldn’t go to Kyoto.

“Already planning on moving?”

Tsuzuku jumped at the sudden voice. He turned to see Ryoga peering at his laptop screen from a few feet away. “What are you doing here?”

The chemistry teacher smiled. “I’m here ‘cause I saw a lonely teacher in a lonely classroom playing on his laptop rather than grading essays. So...why Kyoto?”

Ryoga had redeemed himself of his mistake a while ago- and Tsuzuku couldn’t be mad at him forever. He understood  _now_  and that was what mattered. They hadn’t gotten caught and Tsuzuku was willing to let go of it for the sake of not losing a great friend.

“Meto is applying for an art school in Kyoto. We don’t know if he got in yet, but I wanted to check if any teaching positions were open if he does.”

“So you’re going with him,” Ryoga commented.

“I would’ve even if he hadn’t asked me.” Tsuzuku chuckled. “I don’t think I could stay away that long. I’d probably end up surprising him on his doorstep anyways.”

Ryoga shook his head with a smile. “You’re so perfect for each other. Normally when people say that the couple breaks up after a few years and nobody knows what happened. But you two...you’ve already been together for two years. You’re different. I know I’ve said it before, but it really does feel like you’re soulmates.”

Tsuzuku smiled. “Maybe. It came so naturally that we didn’t even realize we loved each other at first. It took us months to finally say _I love you_  and it was magical when we did.” The teacher smiled softly as memories of that night surfaced. “That night was a night of firsts for us...and it was special. We loved each other, and it was amazing knowing that. I wished I could kiss him all night long and show him how much I loved him.” He sounded far away, like he was dreaming. It made Ryoga smile. He was always this happy when he talked about Meto.

“I love him to the very core of my being,” Tsuzuku continued with a breathy sigh. “I didn’t know it was possible to love someone so much. He’s like my other half. Sometimes the only reason I get up in the morning is because if I do I know I get to see him, even if it’s just passing him in the hallway. God...I just want to protect him from all the hurt in the world.”

Tsuzuku was broken out of his love-struck thoughts when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and his smile grew. “Did my Beautiful Nightmare get his results yet?”

Meto giggled. “Yeah.”

“How’d you do?” Tsuzuku hoped and prayed Meto’s dreams would come true.

The student giggled again. “I got in. I actually got in.”

Tsuzuku’s grin widened. “That’s amazing baby. I knew you could do it. Are your sights set on Kyoto now?”

He heard Meto sigh in happiness. “Devil, I love it here. It’s so historical and peaceful but at the same time it’s so lively. I can’t wait to share it with you.”

“We’ll be together soon, I promise. We’ll go to Kyoto together. We’ll share a life there.”

Meto pursed his lips then spoke. “But what about your job?”

The worried tone and softer voice make Tsuzuku’s smile soften into something more caring. “I’ll quit after this year. But I have been looking online for a while, and there are teaching positions open in Kyoto that caught my attention. I haven’t applied yet, but now that you have your results I will.”

A few heartbeats of silence. “Really? You’ve already found something you like? That’s great. What school is it? I could go scout it for you.”

Tsuzuku chuckled. “That’s okay, baby. It’s gonna take a while to get back, so hurry up, okay? I miss you.”

There was no mistaking the smile in Meto’s quiet voice. “I miss you too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

When he hung up Meto smiled, looking around him. It was finally happening. He and Tsuzuku wouldn’t have to hide anymore. They would be able to be as open as they wanted. They would live together and they would wake up in each other’s arms. Meto knew it would be magical. It would be a dream. He loved Tsuzuku  _so_  much and couldn’t wait to start their life together. They understood each other and didn’t have to hide anything from each other. It was more than Meto could ever hope for.

**********

When Tsuzuku resigned the principal eyed him with suspicion, pointedly asking why. The teacher shrugged. “Need a change of scene, and I’ve always wanted to go to Kyoto.” Yamada didn’t like it but let it go.

Getting a position in a Kyoto high school wasn’t very difficult. The school he got a job at was new and starting its first year of school the next school year. It seemed like the principal was just desperate for a Japanese teacher, so rumors of being with a student the prior year was only a footnote. The staff welcomed him warmly and taught Tsuzuku things they thought he would need to know about Kyoto and helped him set up his classroom within the weeks before school started. Tsuzuku thought they were all great people (though quirky) and got along with all of them.

Moving in with Meto, however, was more difficult. Finding a place they liked was easy, and finding something in their price range was only slightly less easy. The difficult part was hiding the details from Meto’s parents.

The student told them that he was renting an apartment in Kyoto and he had a roommate, but didn’t tell them who it was. Meto skirted questions about his roommate by saying it was someone from college and that they wouldn’t be moved in until school started. Meto told them some random name and they accepted it. However, they helped Meto move in and made sure he was settled, so Tsuzuku had to stay away for a couple days. It killed him to have to stay away when all he wanted to do was start their life together.

Most of the furniture from Tsuzuku’s old apartment was being transported to their new one, so for a few days they sat on the floor and ate take-out. But it was still amazing, living together. They reveled in cuddles and kisses and sex and waking up together. They loved all of it.

After his first day at college, Meto came home deliriously happy. His last class ended after school was out for Tsuzuku, so his lover was already home. Tsuzuku smiled. “Do you like college?”

Delirious laughter left the student and he skipped over to sit in Tsuzuku’s lap. They kissed and Meto straddled him in the armchair that they had bought together after moving in. “It’s so  _different_.” Even when his lover was excited, his voice stayed quiet, and Tsuzuku loved that about him. “The _people_ are different. There’s this guy I met, and he draws the kind of stuff _I_ like to draw! Death and murder and blood and mutilation...he draws it too! I didn’t even think another person could think like us. I showed him mine and he showed me his and he loved it! He loved my dreams.”

Tsuzuku’s smile grew and he kissed Meto again. “I told you people would like your work, didn’t I?”

Meto giggled and kissed his lover’s cheek. “I love you, Devil. I’m glad I trusted you.”

They almost forgot about dinner in between their wandering hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left!! I really can't believe that this story is almost over. And, sadly, the last two chapters are a bit short, but there was nothing I could do about that. :( I'm already editing the next thing I plan on posting, and I'll post that sometime soon after Beautiful Nightmare is done. I appreciate all of my readers, as always, and thank all of you. <3


	8. I Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meto set the tray on his lover’s lap as he sat up. “We’ve both been under a lot of stress lately, and I decided we are taking a day off. No papers to grade, no homework to worry about, and I’ve even taken a sick day from the ramen shop. Today is about us, and I will not let anything ruin my plans.”

A few months into college and strain was put on their relationship. They had both been busy: Meto had taken up extra hours at the ramen shop he had found a job at and the school year was loading students with homework. More homework for the students meant more papers for the teachers to grade. Meto helped grade papers when he could, but was often too busy with his own homework. At night they would fall into bed, sometimes so exhausted they didn’t even kiss goodnight.

The students Tsuzuku had were pretty wild too. He always came home exhausted, cursing his classes. Meto knew he should be paying more attention to his lover, but he was  _busy_. He did what he could but it never seemed like enough. They’d barely been intimate for weeks, and even kisses were harder to come by. Tsuzuku was becoming easily agitated and he couple had even started fighting. Meto wanted to do something about it, but didn’t know what to do.

When Meto was at school his friend, Noriko, prodded him about what was going on between him and Tsuzuku. “I know I need to do something but I don’t know what to do,” Meto sighed.

“ Hmm...” She thought. “What about an all-day date?”

“What do you mean?”

“A full day all to yourselves. You could go somewhere or you could just stay home and be sexy.” Noriko giggled. “Either way, you’ll probably want to plan something. But you have to tell him there’s no work allowed. That goes for you too. No homework, and stay away from that ramen shop. And go have fun with that sexy teacher of yours.” She giggled again.

Meto giggled too, an idea already forming in his head. “Thanks for the advice. I think I’ll use it well.”

**********

That Saturday Meto woke up early to get things ready. He cooked breakfast for both of them then plated it. The student giggled at the thought of making Tsuzuku happy.

Tsuzuku woke up when he smelled food. When his groggy mind processed the world, he found a tray of food next to him, along with a giggly Meto. The teacher’s lips quirked into a small smile. “What’s this?”

Meto set the tray on his lover’s lap as he sat up. “We’ve both been under a lot of stress lately, and I decided we are taking a day off. No papers to grade, no homework to worry about, and I’ve even taken a sick day from the ramen shop. Today is about us, and I will not let anything ruin my plans.”

The teacher chuckled and kissed his lover. “Thank you baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They ate breakfast and then Meto told Tsuzuku to get dressed in something nice, but sexy. Tsuzuku got dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a blood-red button-down, putting on a little makeup and fixing his hair. Meto had opted to get dressed in their bedroom, and when Tsuzuku walked back in there after getting ready in the bathroom his heart skipped a beat.

Meto was wearing that lolita outfit he’d first bought when they moved to Kyoto. Everything about that blue dress fit Meto so well. It was midnight blue, and was Rapunzel themed. His stockings showed faint images of crosses, and his shoes were as blue as the dress. His long blond hair was curled, and a bow thaat matched the dress was in his hair. He smiled up at Tsuzuku- such a sweet innocent smile hardly fit his Beautiful Nightmare.

The teacher marched over and grabbed Meto by the waist, crushing their lips together. Meto in anything cute was an instant turn-on. A mewl left Meto’s mouth and he returned the kiss eagerly. When they parted Tsuzuku nuzzled his throat. He smelled spicy, and Tsuzuku swore he could get high off of how Meto smelled. “How are you so goddamned cute...” he muttered.

Meto giggled. “Devil, I can’t touch the floor.”

“Hm?” Tsuzuku hadn’t even realized he’d picked Meto up. “Ah, sorry.” He put his lover back down and kissed him- gentler this time. “I can’t help it when you look so cute.”

Meto giggled again and took Tsuzuku’s hand. “Thank you. I’ll make sure to be cute more often. Now come on, I have a day planned for us.”

They spent the morning shopping, and Meto bought another lolita dress with lots of lace and frill to please Tsuzuku. When they were at another store the student saw a costume and begged Tsuzuku to try it on. It had a vest with a long black coat and black pants. When he came out of the dressing room Meto stilled. The student played with his lip ring. “God you’re sexy.”

And that’s all it took for Tsuzuku to buy it.

After shopping they went out to lunch at a cafe. They spent more time talking than eating as they caught up on each other’s dreams. They held hands while they shared these dreams in quiet, awed voices, beauty filling the space. Their nightmarish world that had all but forgotten now flourished around them as dreams of blood and death escaped into the air.

When they left the café they found themselves in a forested area, where Meto found himself against a tree, lip-locked with Tsuzuku. They kissed like they used to- slow, unhurried and innocent. They were sure they had been found a few times, but couldn’t care less. They were locked in their world of hellish dreams and white light, taking the throne once again. As their lips connected so did their hearts and souls, sewing together the small tears that had been made. Their land was no longer cracking or breaking, but rebuilding itself into its full glory. They could almost see themselves walking hand in hand, taking the steps up to their thrones of this world in regal gowns made of the finest silk to sit as rulers of their nightmarish land once again.

And nothing had ever felt more right.

They broke apart sometime later, realizing the sun was about to set. “Did we really...?” Meto breathed.

“Yeah, we did.” The teacher had a soft smile on his face. “I think that’s the longest make-out session we’ve ever had.” He chuckled.

Meto kissed him once more and giggled. “I’m hungry again. And I have this great place picked out for dinner.” Meto took his lover’s hand and led them to a sushi restaurant. “I heard this place has the best sushi in Kyoto.”

Tsuzuku had to admit that it was the best sushi he’d had in a long time. They ate and talked and kissed for a few hours before they decided to go home. The walk home was filled with a comfortable silence as Meto hung onto Tsuzuku’s arm, leaning against him a little.

When they walked through the front door of their apartment, Meto stopped his lover and kissed him, soft and slow. "Make love to me," he whispered. That awe was back in his round doe eyes and he looked like an angel, or a fairy. He kissed Tsuzuku again. "It's been so long..." he breathed. "Please...teach me pain again."

Tsuzuku kissed him again, all innocence and horror. “My Beautiful Nightmare...” He cupped Meto’s jaw. “How could I refuse?”

The student was picked up and carried to the bedroom, laid down on the soft bed and kissed until he lost his breath. They were slow and passionate, yet there was still lovely pain that erupted across Meto’s skin. It was lovely and beautiful and full on nightmare and horror. Their hearts and souls no longer had to cry out to each other- they were engulfed in each other, and one became the other. As gasps and moans filled the dark room they became one, no longer needing to ask what the other was thinking or wanting. For the first time in a long time, they became each other. Light shined around them and inside them as they became whole once more.

As they cuddled in the dark, covered with blood and sweat, more soft kisses were shared. “Thank you,” Tsuzuku breathed. “I needed today.”

Meto caressed the teacher’s jaw line. “We both did. I missed you, Devil.”

They kissed again. “I missed you too, my Beautiful Nightmare. Let’s never do that again. I hated not having you close to me.”

The student smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter...its hard to believe O.o


	9. I Owe You Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night he’d been cut Meto had taken a picture without Tsuzuku’s knowledge. He’d painted it, and now it was on display. All of his tattoos had been painstakingly recreated, even though they were covered in blood. Each cut was also painted- little lines of a darker red. There was this little smile on his face, and his black hair blended with the sheets.
> 
> Then there was his favorite. That dream of hope, painted and on display. That four-letter word written in English across his chest as his head was bowed and he was on his knees, wrists chained. That dream saved them from despair on many occasions, but now they didn’t need it anymore. Tsuzuku smiled, feeling pride swell in his chest.

Years passed for the couple. Meto had finished his undergraduate study and was now a graduate student. He’d won a few contests when he’d submitted a painting, and he was so excited. Maybe his dreams would come true.

And ever since that Saturday, they made every Saturday their day together. It kept them happy; they didn’t fight often, and they stayed as intimate as they were when they first said ‘I love you.’

Even more than winning a few contests, Meto was being recognized. Benefactors liked to scout art schools for new talent, and a few had taken interest in Meto. They said his work was different and beautiful. It was a new perspective on death, and they absolutely loved it. Meto even had a meeting with them scheduled.

It was between classes on Tsuzuku’s schedule when Meto dropped by. “Hey baby. What are you doing here?” The teacher was pleasantly surprised at the visit.

They kissed and Tsuzuku was handed a bag. “You forgot your lunch.”

Tsuzuku chuckled. “Maybe I left it on purpose~”

Meto smiled. “I love you.” A few early students entered the classroom.

“I love you too. And don’t loiter too long. Don’t you have a  _meeting_  to get to?” He laughed when Meto’s eyes widened. “Hey,” he caught his lover’s wrist, “change your shirt before you go.” Over the years Meto had gotten several other piercings and a few tattoos. One of which was a twisted imagery of conception. “You have a blue arm.” Meto glared at his lover. “I’m just trying to help you baby. Maybe they don’t like blue arms.”

“They like my art. And I drew this design. Besides, I’m an  _artist_. Self-expression is my  _job_.” Meto smiled a little- he wasn’t actually mad.

“Not your job yet. But maybe you could wear that gothic lolita dress, ne? You look cute in that.”

Meto hummed. “I gotta go. I love you.”

“I love you too.” A chaste kiss then Meto left.

“He’s younger than you!” A girl in Tsuzuku’s class piqued.

The teacher eyed her. “He’s legal.”

“I think he’s cute,” another girl said.

“What? He’s  _creepy,_ ” the first girl answered.

The two girls started fighting over whether Meto was creepy or cute. Tsuzuku chuckled and let it happen. “What about you, Tsuzuku-sensei?”

“Huh?”

“Is he creepy or cute?”

“He’s an absolute nightmare,” a dreamy smile came onto his face, “but he’s also the most beautiful person I know.”

**********

“Tsuzuku, hurry up! We’re going to be late!” Meto was rushing to get his make-up done.

“Relax, we’ll be fine. You’re just nervous. I’ll be done in a few minutes. Don’t smudge your make-up,” he commented.

“Of course I’m nervous! If I can’t sell anything they’re done with me. All I need to sell is two paintings, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to.”

“Baby, you’ll sell something,” Tsuzuku reassured. “You have six or seven pieces, right? Two of them will sell. Your benefactors didn’t set you up for failure. They wouldn’t put your art up in an exhibit that would hate it.”

More years had passed for the couple, and Meto was a year out of college. They still lived in Kyoto, but had moved to a slightly bigger apartment. They’d needed an extra room for Meto’s art, and hat was mostly where he painted. There was an ever-growing collection of hellish, beautiful paintings, but at the moment six or seven were set up in a gallery.

That night was Meto’s first gallery show, and he was nervous as hell. Tsuzuku was confident that his lover’s art would sell, but Meto wasn’t so sure. Remnants of being told his dreams were psychotic were surfacing again, and Tsuzuku wished he could do more to comfort his lover, but being by his side would have to be good enough.

They were both dressed up in their best: Tsuzuku in a suit and Meto in a dress. Meto always cross-dressed when he was nervous, and the teacher found it endearing. Meto was in a floor-length white dress that made him look taller (however, the three-inch heels also helped) with a V-neckline that showed off his anarchy symbol tattooed on his chest. The dress had short sleeves, which kept his blue arm covered but hid the baby.

Tsuzuku was finishing his hair while Meto was putting his lip ring back on after putting on red lipstick. With his heels, Meto was now as tall as Tsuzuku, and it felt a little odd to not have to lean down when he kissed Meto. “you’re so beautiful...” the teacher murmured.

Meto smiled at him. “Thank you, Devil. I really couldn’t get this far without you. I owe you everything.”

“All I need from you is your love.” Another soft kiss was shared, then Meto was rushing to leave, excitement and nerves bubbling in his chest.

When they entered the gallery they were both handed glasses of champagne and Meto moved to find his benefactors. It was slightly crowded, but it was easy to find Meto’s benefactor since they were near his exhibit. It was in the middle of the gallery, and it was absolutely beautiful. People had taken interest in his paintings, and a few were obscured. But Tsuzuku could see some of his favorites. Meto had painted one of his coworker’s arms- Shou- who had incredibly long fingers. His arm was reaching skyward and wrapped in barbed wire, strands twisting up the arm to the palm and around long fingers. Streams of crimson blood seeped down the arm, some of it pooling between wire and skin. There was one of MiA, on his knees as his glistening insides are laid out under pale light. He was pale and dying, yet he looked calm as you could see the light leaving his eyes, even though it was only a painting. And one of Ryoga, on his knees and his throat slit, blood pouring down onto the white shirt, and he looked serene too, even as he was dying.

Then there were the two of Tsuzuku himself. That night he’d been cut Meto had taken a picture without Tsuzuku’s knowledge. He’d painted it, and now it was on display. All of his tattoos had been painstakingly recreated, even though they were covered in blood. Each cut was also painted- little lines of a darker red. There was this little smile on his face, and his black hair blended with the sheets.

Then there was his favorite. That dream of hope, painted and on display. That four-letter word written in English across his chest as his head was bowed and he was on his knees, wrists chained. That dream saved them from despair on many occasions, but now they didn’t need it anymore. Tsuzuku smiled, feeling pride swell in his chest.

An older, sophisticated woman approached Tsuzuku, a questioning look on her face. “Excuse me? Are you the one in the paintings?”

Tsuzuku couldn’t help but smile more. “I am, thank you for asking.”

“Are you a family member, if I may ask?”

“Close. I’m his boyfriend.” They’d never actually voiced what they were to each other, they’d never needed to. “Have been for seven years.”

She looked surprised, but smiled. “I’m glad you have had such a long relationship. You make a great model. I can see in the paintings how much he loves you.” She walked away, and Tsuzuku couldn’t help the love and pride that exploded in him.

After she left Meto bounded up to him, looking more excited than he’d ever been. “I can’t believe it,” he giggled.

“Can’t believe what, baby?”

“A few of my paintings have several interested buyers.  _Remember to Hope_  is a crowd favorite, it seems. It’s unbelievable that these are my paintings in this gallery, and people like  _my_  work. It’s incredible.” Happy tears gathered in Meto’s eyes as reality hit him.

Tsuzuku kissed him gently. “My Beautiful Nightmare...you can do anything.”

One of Meto’s benefactors came over and got Meto’s attention. “They’re asking you to do a speech about your paintings.”

Meto looked surprised. “W-What? Now?”

“In about ten minutes. Think of what you’re going to say. Please make it a great speech.” The benefactor bowed and walked away.

Meto cursed under his breath. “I wish they told me earlier...” he whined.

Tsuzuku chuckled lowly. “You’ll be great, baby. Just look at me and let the words flow, okay?” He kissed Meto again.

Meto nodded, nervous. “Okay. I-I’ll do that.” He smiled.

When it was time for his speech Meto was dragged away, and Tsuzuku blew him a kiss. Tsuzuku made sure to be standing near the podium so Meto could see him clearly.

Meto stood at the podium for a few seconds, waiting for the crowd to quiet and taking deep breaths. He looked down at Tsuzuku and smiled, though a little shaky. Meto took a deep breath and started. “I had always wanted to become a painter. Even when I was little and couldn’t draw very well. As I got older people started to tell me I couldn’t do it, that I was psychotic, that I was insane. Nobody would listen to me or believe me or think that I wasn’t insane. Except for one.” Meto smiled down at Tsuzuku. “I had someone I barely even knew worried about me. I had a dream about him long before I personally knew him. He listened to me and didn’t think I was insane. He even had dreams of his own, and a few of those are on display right now. He told me I could achieve my dream and believe in me. I love him. And he loves me.” A soft smile lit up Meto’s face. “And I wouldn’t be here without him. I owe my life to him.” Meto bowed. “Thank you.” Polite applause came from the listening crowd as he bowed again then left the podium. Tsuzuku kissed him passionately as Meto was in his arms again. Meto giggled and kissed him again. “I really do owe you everything.”

Tsuzuku kissed him passionately. “And all I need in return is your love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little story has been my pride and joy to write and share with everyone who cared to read it, and I can't believe that this only lasted nine chapters. I thought it would be longer, but alas everything has its own end, right? Anyways, I thank everyone who commented and gave kudos, I really do appreciate it. I'm working on my next story for anyone who might be interested, but I have no idea when it will go up. I have the first part typed up and edited but well...lots of editing for the next, quite large, part.  
> Anyhow, I enjoyed this story probably as much as everyone else did, and I thank everybody who read it and enjoyed it themselves. <3

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I'm uploading, so I'm super nervous! I hope everyone likes it. And please, a simple comment or kudos really does help. There's a lot of chapters, so if you liked it there's a lot more to enjoy!


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